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Can’t believe its already been three years

Im all cried out, squeezed out one too many tears

Found a new way, switched around the stressing

Walking with an upside down permafrown, even bad situations are a blessing

Been some ups and downs, quite a long road

Everything happens for a reason, at least this is what Im told

You showed me I gotta live my life to the fullest, be bold

There’s no guarantee anyone’s gonna live to be real old

 

You wouldn’t believe it Ma, your boys got a tattoo

Well now Im up to three, I actually have a few

Red and green on my arm, I got a rose, just like you

I still think about you every day, sometimes I feel blue

Starting to Accept the Blessings, and my dreams are coming true

Whenever you’re on my mind I can just look at my arm and think

Trace the rose with my finger, eyes staring without a blink

This one’s for you mama, Gatorade cheers, glasses clink

Come back and talk to me in my dreams, hint hint, wink wink

 

Guess what Montay, Im clean, surprise

Wish you could see your boy, wouldn’t believe your eyes

Not sure where you are, sometimes I feel you near me

I go outside and talk to the stars at night, wonder if you can hear me

Remember driving across the country on the way to California

Proud to be honoring your spirit, no longer feel the need to mourn ya

 

I put up a good front to look strong, at least I think Im trying

Honestly though, I sit here pounding away at the keyboard, crying

Letting God cleanse my soul as the tears drip down my cheeks

Can only imagine how you felt those last couple of weeks

Wish I was holding your hand when you took your last breath

So many things have happened in the 1095 days since your death

 

Used it as an excuse for too long, so much madness and pain

Living like that there’s no use, too much sadness on the brain

Completely out of control, I was off track, derailed like a train

Overwhelmed with gladness that outside substances no longer have me insane

There’s so many things to be thankful for, simple shit like birds and trees

Especially grateful I have someone to listen when I drop down to my knees

 

You left it up to me to find myself a religion

Im as spiritual as it gets, still haven’t made a decision

Which one is right, are there any that are wrong

Man has been searching for that answer for far too long

Just wait, I am going to turn Madelyn June into a song

 

This outlet is so nice, being able to dump these thoughts out in a poem

Sometimes I wish I could talk to you, like picking up the phone

What if it was possible, Just For Today

 

I can only imagine your answers, the things that you would say:

 

What the heck Ma, why did you do it?

It’s too hard to explain Danny, you woulda had to have been thru it

Well its great to hear your voice, everything good up there?

Its magical, beautiful, people are dieing to get in here I swear

I held my end of the bargain at your funeral, did you know I played the song?

I know this son, I was there, singing right along

When’s the pain gonna stop, why does it still hurt so bad?

That’s part of living Dan, it’s a blessing to feel sad

Im sorry I was so fucked up, did I make you mad?

It made you the man you are today, and I am so so glad

Do you know what the future holds, one day will I be a Daddy?

You’re gonna be blessed, just wait, give him a hug from Grandma Maddy

Listen I gotta go, really not supposed to be doing this

Tell everyone I said hello, give them all a big kiss

Keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll be granted every wish

Do your thing down there, Ill be up here in eternal bliss

 

 

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